Since sharing that Michael and I will be living side by side (catch up here), the overwhelming response has been positive. And the most common feedback – ‘it’s so great you’re putting the children first’.

But I’m not.

When we separated and agreed to do it kindly, lovingly and respectfully we created the optimum environment for a peaceful uncoupling. It’s been the anchor I’ve returned to time and time again.

There was no reason for me to feel fearful and protective.

Along the way, I’ve heard countless stories of what could have happened. The accounts nearly sound like war stories.

Because peacefulness has been our reward, we’ve been able to consider options that feel mutually beneficial and just plain good. I wouldn’t be living as Michael’s neighbour if it didn’t feel good.

So the honest truth is – I put myself first. And I could do that with no Mummy guilt because I felt safe. It was safe for me to honestly consider whether this move felt good. Both as a mother AND a woman.

When we consciously co-create loving, respectful and kind relationships we feel safe.

And this applies to all stages of a relationship – beginning middle or end.

Separation is gut-wrenchingly painful. When such a complex relationship as a long-term intimate relationship changes and another one is being born, it’s intense. And there’s a sh*t load of work to do.

But it’s not the type of work you think it is. It’s the internal work. Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What do I value?

It’s knowing you are powerful enough to create your own experience.

 

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Life Coach
Facilitator of Men’s Groups and Women’s Coaching Circles

Inspiration to live a Brave Vulnerable Audacious life

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